Frequently we try too hard to live through a mental image of how we are supposed to be. We're filled with shoulds— I should be this, I should be that— this is how I should feel; this is what I should do. After awhile, we get so tired and so bored and frustrated trying to live up to an image of ourselves that we just have to let go and let ourselves be. And then we make an important discovery: we realize that nothing has to happen, that we don't have to be anyone. And things have a way of working out as we let them. When we let go of our mental construct about how things have to be and how we have to be, we simply begin to relax. As we relax, we begin to feel the opening of our heart. And more and more we begin to live from an intuitive rather than a prescriptive level. We respond appropriately to life's opportunities and challenges from a deep sense of calm coming from our own inwardness. We trust our hearts and all is well. 

Is it OK to feel? We may have been taught to suppress or deny our feelings. Or perhaps our feelings have gotten us into difficult or confusing situations. So we ask ourselves: can we really trust our feelings— isn't it better to not feel so much? And we may wander through our days keeping a firm lid on our feeling nature. But while denying our feelings may keep us from being sensitive to life's pains and sorrows, it also keeps us from being sensitive and open to the joy and beauty of this life. Oscar Wilde once said, "As for living, our servants can do that for us." And George Bernard Shaw said of a deceased acquaintance, "He died at 30 and was buried at 60." To cut ourselves off from our feeling nature is indeed a living death. So let's be willing to feel our feelings even though they are sometimes painful, because our feelings give meaning and joy and beauty and love to our life. As e.e. cummings wrote, "I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing / than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance." Let yourself feel the joy of this life. 

Sometimes we don't quite trust our feeling nature. We say to ourselves, "Look what my feelings have gotten me into." Someone once said, "Love is a many splintered thing." At times our deepest feelings seem to lead us on a bumpy path. We think: if only we weren't so involved with our emotions, how easy and simple this life would be. But our feelings also give us joy and happiness and a sense of fulfillment. There are the tears of gratitude we have shed for all the good this life has given us. Let's not deny our feelings, but, rather, let our emotions expand to feel the wholeness of this life. 

One of our big problems in life is defining boundaries between our self and our environment. Right now there is a baby bird in a nest in a tree right outside of our church building. The little bird seems to be almost interwoven with the nest; yet, as it gets larger each day, it's clear that very soon it will be too big for the nest and will have to fly off into its freedom. So too with us; there are times when we are being nurtured by a specific environment or circumstance. Perhaps it's a relationship, or a job, or a course of studies or perhaps it's a group of people. While nurturing is good in its time, as with our little bird, there may come a time when we outgrow this environment. We can't squeeze ourself into something that no longer fits, no matter how hard we may try. Sometimes we resist growth and change because we hate to leave the comfort and security of the old environment. But we are each spiritual pioneers— our task on this earth is to grow and discover, to take our leap into freedom and to explore the limitless wonder of this life. 

A very famous person's biography ended with the statement, Mr. So-and-So's only regret in life is that he is not somebody else. Sometimes we feel the same way— if only we were somebody else, and sometimes we add: anybody else. ChogyamTrungpa, the Tibetan Lama, said that our real job on earth was to overcome our tremendous embarrassment at being alive. It's like when we walk into a room full of strangers and we feel so self-conscious and awkward and embarrassed at just being who we are that we would rather be almost anybody else. At these times, when we feel unsettled or uncertain about ourselves or we just wish we were better, smarter, handsomer or prettier or more spiritual or more together, let's try to practice self-kindness and self-gentleness. Remember, it's not easy being us, but there's really no one else we can be— so relax, let go and just simply and without strain be you and let that be enough. 

When we are sick with a cold or flu, we can go to a doctor and ask for medicine, or we can try to do self-healing by getting more rest, taking vitamins and drinking liquids. We can also practice an inner self-healing. When we are feeling agitated or out of sorts, we can try just relaxing and letting go of all the worries, all the problems, all the doubts and fears and concerns, and just let ourself be OK for a few minutes. We really don't have to have all the solutions to our life this moment. Things will become better right away if we just put everything aside and so totally let go that, inside of ourselves, we feel peace and a sense of release and freedom. Things have always worked out for us; of course, they will work out now. We can relax, be still, let go and let the solution come. 

There's an old joke that goes: how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer is one, but the lightbulb has to want to change. Sometimes we say, "If only, if only things were different, then everything would be OK for me." But then life has a way of bringing about some great change for us, and then we say, "Wait a minute—when I said I wanted to change, I didn't mean big change, I meant small change." And we realize that what we really want is for everything to be different as long as we don't have to change anything. Perhaps we feel threatened by real change in our lives. We can be open and receptive to change when we allow ourselves to realize that everything is always changing anyway— that we ourselves are part and parcel of the ongoingness of life. As Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher, said, "All is change but the law of change itself." We can make our peace with the great fact of change, relax and let change have its way with us and be in tune with the flow of this life. 

What does it mean to be a whole person? We hear talk of holistic this-and-that these days. What does wholeness mean to us? A whole person is someone who is integrated— mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually— which means: just being who we really are without artifice. Margot Fonteyn said, "Great artists are people who find the way to be themselves in their art." Yet so many of us are trying to be someone else. I think we grow up with the idea that just being ourselves isn't good enough—somehow we should be better than we are or different than we are. Perhaps real wholeness and self-integration come when we relax so completely that we simply allow who and what we are to be—without our needing to be anything or anyone other than who we are. There is a natural state in which each of us rests in our own uniqueness and where we discover our true identity and our oneness with all life. 

I once accidentally knocked a bottle of lemon juice off a shelf at Walgreens. As I continued down the aisle, I sort of pretended that: 1.) it never really happened— and the smashed bottle of liquid wasn't really there a few feet away. 2.) if it had happened, it wasn't me who had done it— and I looked at some passerby as if to say, "Was it you? It wasn't me?" All of a sudden, I heard a loudspeaker saying, "Someone go to Aisle 7 and clean up a spill." Closed circuit TV—oh no, caught in the act. There's not a whole lot we get away with in this life. Part of maturity is the willingness to accept our share of responsibility for what happens in this life. As Alan Watts once said, "There are really only three questions in life: Who made the mess? Who's responsible? Who's going to clean it up?" Let's not slink away from our messes in this life and pretend they didn't happen or that we don't have to clean them up. Let's be responsible for what happens to us, through us, and accept our share of what happens with peace and equanimity. 

Too often there is a disparity between our convictions and how we actually live. Do we believe we should be truthful but that it's OK to exaggerate or tell small lies? Albert Camus said that when we tell the truth we should never tell more than the truth. Do we believe in honesty; yet we are willing to bend things a little here and there to suit our convenience? When we decide to integrate our daily life around our highest and truest spiritual and ethical convictions, we discover that our life becomes much simpler and easier. The false divisions begin to fade away, and we live from a simple integrity and clarity without the need to second-guess ourselves. Mark Twain once said that it's always easier to tell the truth; then you don't have to worry about remembering what you said. 

There are times when no matter how positive we think, things don't seem to change for us. Then we can make a decision to change ourselves and let our thoughts change accordingly. We may not think our way into good behavior, but perhaps we can behave our way into good thinking. Some situations call for action, not just thought. In the book In Search of Excellence, Thomas Peters and Robert Waterman characterized top American corporations with the motto "Ready, Fire, Aim." In dealing with a habit or a compulsive behavior, we just need to make a decision to change; the decision itself has motive power that propels us forward and breaks through the crust of our inertia. When thinking doesn't push us into our breakthrough, acting will. Buddha said, "Work out your salvation with diligence." He didn't say, "Think out your salvation." So let's decide right now to act in the way that we want to become. 

So much of our life is based on our thoughts. Buddha said, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought." So if we wish to experience a healing and renewal in our life, we have to begin by changing our thinking. To have a new life, we need to have a new thought about ourselves and our life. Too often, we go around thinking of ourselves in old ways, with hard, unforgiving and unloving thoughts. But, this moment, we can choose to release the old thoughts, the old ideas of separation, lack and limitation, and we can begin to accept a New Thought: life is good, and we are already connected to the good. We can live from this new thought of Oneness and let it reveal a new life to us. 

What one thing do we have to know, the knowing of which makes everything else in our life work? Albert Camus said that we only need to understand one thing really well and through that one understanding we can understand everything else. When offered wealth, power and fame, King Solomon asked only for understanding. What is it that we need to understand right now that will really make a difference in our lives? Are we focused on that crucial point of self-knowledge? Or are we dissipating energy and intention by pursuing secondary goals? During this beginning of a new year, let's take some time to inquire into our hearts and ask if we are centered in understanding what we are about right now on our earth journey. Have we put the Highest and Best first, as far as we understand these? Have we discovered the one thing we need to know to live a full, joyous and real life on this earth? 

A paradigm is a mental construct for perceiving reality. Whenever a new paradigm comes into existence, everything pertaining to that paradigm shifts and changes— sometimes very dramatically. In the 1960's, researchers employed by Swiss watch manufacturers invented the quartz watch. At that time, the Swiss had been manufacturing watches in their own way for over 100 years, and they had 90 % of the world market. Why bother investing in some new invention, they reasoned; people have been buying our watches, and they will continue to do so. The Swiss manufacturers were so sure of themselves that they didn't even protect their invention with a patent. Japanese manufacturers attended a watch show in 1968, saw the possibilities in the quartz watch and immediately began production of the new invention. Today the Japanese have 90% of the world market in watches. In our lives, we need to be bold, creative and daring enough to adopt a new paradigm, a new mental construct for our life. 

Each of us had an image of our self—who we think and feel that we really are. Though our basic self-image is usually formed at a very young age, as we grow, we add bits and pieces of information to our perception of ourselves. As we continue to unfold, so does our self-image. As we mature, we come to understand that we are each a multi-faceted individual. We come to recognize and appreciate our own uniqueness— each of us is really unlike anyone else. We become less shy and more open to revealing and sharing ourselves as our life progresses. We also become more willing to experience a deeper understanding and even transformation of ourselves. Our life provides each of us with a choice: do we wish to rest on the surface, never questioning or inquiring into the deeper meaning of self, or do we want to plunge into the depths and experience a self-revelation so profound, so immense that we are transformed at the very roots of our being? Let's choose to go all the way in this life— to know ourselves at depth. 

I once turned down an opportunity for a free trip to Calgary, Canada because my first reaction was: Canada is too cold. I subsequently regretted this 'lost opportunity,' and when the offer was recently renewed, I quickly agreed to go, regardless of the cold. And the four days I spent in Calgary were indeed filled with beauty and wonder: the Canadian Rockies, Banff and Lake Louise are visions of blue and white loveliness. And strange to say, even though it was a much colder temperature by our standards, I hardly felt the cold at all. Sometimes we tend to say no to new possibilities because we have a mental image of how they will be for us; they may be uncomfortable or cost too much time or energy. But it just may be that something very exciting and unusual is trying to give itself to us, and all we need to do is be open and receptive to discover a good beyond our conception. Say yes to new life. 

Lao Tzu, the great Taoist philosopher, said, "The way to do is to be." And Emerson, the great American philosopher, said, "Who you are speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you are saying." It is useful at times to collect ourselves, to gather ourselves together in self-inquiry and silent recognition: Who is this person we are anyway? How are we feeling about ourself right now? Do we like ourself? Do we like spending time with this person we are? Would we rather be somebody else? Collecting oneself means standing on our own two spiritual feet, making our peace with who and what we are. We can accept ourselves very simply right here and right now and be happy that we are who we are— that we're not somebody else; we can release all of our self-regrets. Why not be this person we already are? Why postpone our arrival into full-blown personhood? 

Martin Luther King, Jr., whose birthday we are celebrating today, said, "I have a dream that some day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and crooked places will be made straight...and all flesh shall see it together." King's dream was for equality, peace and freedom. Someone once said, "Dreams are not to put us to sleep, but to wake us up." King fulfilled as much of his dream as he could in his life, and we all live in a better world as a result. What are each of us doing right now to realize our own peace dream— our vision of peace and fulfillment within our world? Abraham Lincoln was once asked what he thought of a sermon he had just heard. Lincoln replied that he thought little of it for though it was well-constructed and well-presented, it did not provoke him to action and therefore had no meaning for him. Have we caught a big enough dream from the universe to provoke us to action, to manifest powerfully something that takes us beyond ourselves to a place no one has been before? 

Mohammed said, "Trust God, but tie your camel," meaning that we have a two-fold relationship and responsibility to this life. We need to develop a sense of trust in the ultimate benevolence and goodness of this life, and yet we also must be conscious of the needs of the moment and learn to fulfill our role in life in an appropriate and responsible way. The camel driver may know that God is good, but he also understands the tendency of the camel to wander away if left unattended. We may know that everything is working out in our lives, but we also have to do our share in bringing our fulfillment first into focus and then into concrete reality; to let our dreams remain abstractions is to forget to tie our camel; we are here to bring our dreams into manifestation in this life. Don't let your dream get away from you. 

What does it mean to be spiritually free? We think of human freedom in terms of being free from some oppressive influence or situation. Or we think of human freedom as being free to do things we've always wanted to do: complete some special project or take a trip somewhere or buy our dream home. But is there a freedom that is different in kind from our usual ideas of freedom?— a freedom which liberates us from the human predicament itself? On a human level, no matter how well things are going for us, we never seem to feel completely comfortable or at ease with ourselves or our situation in life. We say, "There has to be something more." Perhaps spiritual freedom is a point in our life where we come into total agreement and harmony with ourselves, our situation and our world, a time when we no longer feel uncomfortable being ourselves. What a blessing it is to feel total peace with ourselves in this life. And maybe all we need to do is say yes in the moment, and this freedom is ours.