We all have made New Year's resolutions about quitting some habit or beginning some beneficial course of action only to realize a little later on that our firm resolve has evaporated in the winds of time. For a resolve to change to "take," inside of us, we need to be direct, clear and honest with ourselves—do we really want to change and are we really willing to pay the price for change? Will the perceived value of the change be a great enough compensation for whatever work or effort or pain that will be involved in bringing the change about? If we've ever tried to quit intoxicants or cigarettes or cut down on food or change a long-standing relationship, we realize how much effort is involved. There is really no easy way to make this sort of fundamental change in our life, and we may just have to come to terms with what is involved in any serious change we are contemplating. The deeper we go in our self-understanding, the simpler, if not easier, the change will be for us. We can resolve to change some basic pattern that is no longer beneficial for us and stay firmly rooted in our resolve until we achieve our goal. 

A man once went to a psychiatrist and said, "I feel like I'm a pair of curtains." The psychiatrist said, "Calm down and try to pull yourself together." We sometimes feel split apart inside of ourselves as if we are going in two directions at once. Sometimes we seem to want two contradictory things, both at the same time. A man was once allowed to choose a magic bottle that would give him whatever he really wanted— the only condition was that he had to offer up a magic bottle of his own in exchange for the bottle he was to receive. The man asked for the magic bottle that contained inner peace, but he realized he would have to give his own bottle which contained an overwhelming ambition. He realized that he was unwilling to give up his bottle of ambition, so he walked away without receiving the peace his heart yearned for. Perhaps we just need to really decide what it is we want out of this life, and then our wholeness will begin to manifest. 

Jean-Paul Sartre, the French existential philosopher, once said, "It took me 20 years to get Plato out of my system." We've all had teachers, mentors, role models or authority figures who have had tremendous influence over each of us, particularly during our formative years. But at some point, we realize that we have to release the influence of even the most awesome, august and inspiring authority figures in order to come into our own. An apprentice minister once called his mentor, a famous and successful minister, and said, "Jack, I've been trying to do things the way you do them and to be like you in my talks and now we are down to six people!" The famous minister replied, "Good! Now you can relax, be yourself and do it your way." When things aren't working, we can always ask ourselves: Am I being myself or am I trying to be like someone else? While it's comfortable and safe to be like our mentors and it's often scary and risky to be ourselves— when we are really who we are, we find our fulfillment. Be yourself! 

Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss." What do we really love to do more than anything else? Are we following that love, that joy and letting it guide our way through life? Campbell himself found that he loved to study legends from different peoples throughout the world— so he made a career of being a mythologist. Alan Watts loved to research and explore Asian religions; he created the Institute for Asian Studies and spent his life doing what he really loved. Don Juan says to follow "the path with a heart." What kind of pursuit is our heart drawing us to follow? Let's not play it so safe that we are locked into some job or activity that we find tedious and unfulfilling. Step out now and claim the good your heart is leading you to— follow your bliss. 

The Duke of Cambridge once protested that he wasn't against change. He favored it, he said, when there was no alternative. Change is the law of life. A king once summoned a group of wise men to his court. He said, "I want you to write down something that will make me happy when I am sad and sad when I am happy." After some time of meditation, one of the wise men wrote, "This, too, shall pass." Change in and of itself need not be distressing. Change is only alarming as long as we fear it, resist it and struggle to overcome it. But when we relax, let go and begin to welcome change into our life, we find that change itself becomes an ally and brings with it transformation and new life. Newspaper headlines at the turn of the century predicted the economic and social collapse of New York City within ten years due to a lack of horses. But with the automotive breakthrough came a whole new way of life for humanity. Let's let change have its way with us since there is no alternative. Change is inevitable; growth is optional, but we can choose growth as long as we are willing to change. 

Edna Ferber, the novelist, once said, "I know 10,000 would-be authors and only two people who actually write." Many of us have said to ourselves and to others, "I have a novel inside me." As Sartre says, a novel inside of us has no reality until we actually get it out and onto the paper. Too often we all tend to spend time in idle reverie or daydreaming instead of manifesting our true inner potential. To bring our inner dreams, aspirations and visions into concrete actuality in this world is one of the great joys of life. Whether our creation is recognized or not by the world, whether or not we achieve fame or fortune, there is a deep and abiding satisfaction in being a participant in the way something new comes into being. Like a mother giving birth, when a creative spark comes into being through us into this life, we feel ourselves totally connected to the creative energy of this universe. 

Are we waiting? Sitting on the fence is the most uncomfortable place in the whole world. When we are stuck in indecision and we are waiting for a sign from the outer world to tell us what to do, we may feel so bogged down in inertia that even if the sign came, we wouldn't recognize it. Sometimes the only thing to do, when nothing seems to be happening, is to spring into action, take a risk (even if we fail) and make something happen. When we rest too long in the status quo, we, like Hamlet, may lose the motive for action. In business, there's an old saying: There are those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who say, "What happened?" If you feel trapped in waiting for the outer world to do something for you or to you to make things different, maybe you just need to take the first step. The universe is holding its breath, waiting for us to Act. Let's go for it. 

In a constantly changing world, our demand for certainty and security causes us to try to force things to fit a pre-established mold. When we are trying to make everything fit our preconceived patterns, we find that we expend tremendous energy. We can exhaust ourselves by trying so hard to maintain the status quo in our lives. Sometimes the wisest course of action, when we feel uncertain or insecure, is to let ourselves just be insecure. The insecurity itself can provide an energy and a clarity of attention that gives us the strength and courage to go forward in our lives. Allowing ourselves to remain with our insecurity can be the means of direct seeing into the heart of life itself. 

There are three D's in bringing something new into being in our life: Dream it, Define it, and Do something about it. A woman once went to a counselor and said, "I'd really like to go to college and get a degree, but I'm 57 years old." The counselor replied, "In four years you'll be 61, whether you go to school or not— so why not go to school?" Many of us have an unfulfilled dream. Perhaps we haven't defined it clearly enough. What steps would it take to bring our dream into fulfillment? What would it cost? Are we willing and able to pay the price? Do we really have anything to lose by trying? Once we define our dream and clarify the process it will take to complete it, then the third phase becomes very clear. We need to act— what can we do right now to bring our dream into manifestation? Don't leave out the last step. We experience analysis paralysis when we don't act on our dream. Avoid the rush, act now on your dream and joy will be yours. 

U.G. Krishnamurti once said, "Touch the point of life where no one yet has been, and you will find me there." Each one of us is at the point of life where no one else has been. As we begin to realize, accept and express our own uniqueness— each of us is unlike anyone else— then we begin to leave behind all sense of conformity and competition. We are here to demonstrate our unique creativity in this world. We don't have to imitate anyone else. Rabbi Susya, a Hasidic spiritual teacher, once was asked, "Why aren't you like your father?" The Rabbi replied, "I am. My father never imitated anyone and neither do I." Let's stop being second-hand persons in this life— let's let all of our individuality manifest powerfully and freely in this world. 

We can't do everything; we can't be everything. We have to choose who we want to be and what we want to do in this life. That means that there are a great many things we won't be able to be and do. To define our purpose in life means that we have to specialize. They say that since about the 15 th century, it has been impossible to know everything in terms of human information because there is just too much for any one human being to know and too much to be and too much to do; so we need to make choices based on our values and on how we have defined our purpose in this life. We can always ask ourselves these three basic questions: Where do we want to be five years from now? If we continue as we are right now, will we make it? If we do make it, will we feel happy and fulfilled? Our life becomes very simple and straightforward once we clarify our purpose and decide on the way in which we will achieve it. 

At this time of year we oftentimes feel a kind of resentment at the cold days and nights. We begin to develop a grudge against waking up to a cold morning and going to work in the cold outdoors. But resisting or fighting against the winter doesn't make us feel any better. Perhaps, instead, we should just relax and enjoy the cold. A friend of mine was walking through Central Park in New York on a cold January day. My friend was really cringing from the cold wind, when he suddenly saw someone walking along as if it were a bright and warm spring day. My friend said that he suddenly felt renewed inside: he threw his head back, dropped his arms and began walking upright and calm. He said, "And I've been walking that way ever since." 

Since the holidays are over, we ask ourselves—What's next? Between now and spring, what can we look forward to? The holidays provide an exterior prop for our emotions. We can share our joy, gladness and excitement in a natural way because it is the season for it. But now we may have to look within ourselves and discover a reason to feel the joyous energy we felt a few weeks ago. That joy has not disappeared; it's still there; we may just have to refocus or reframe it. Perhaps relaxing after all the stress and pressure of December is also a kind of happiness; not needing to hurry or rush our way through things— this, itself, if we let it, may be a new kind of breakthrough for us. Things don't always have to be going on for us to be happy. Perhaps in rest and recollection we discover an even greater joy. Why not give this time a chance to reveal its meaning and its happiness to us? Let's let January be a time of inner realization and fulfillment. 

Each of us is at the point between our past and our future. Too often we spend our precious time rehearsing the past— if only we had done it differently. Yet each of us can allow ourselves to let go of the past and enter the doorway of the future. We can look backward or look forward— we can't stand still. The present exists as a point in time for us to choose which way we will go. When we choose to go forward into the future with a conscious plan of action, already the past begins to recede into a dim memory. The future holds the promise of greater fulfillment—the past only the finality of what has already happened. Helen Keller said that happiness is an open door. But we do have to shift our gaze from the door that has already closed. What dreams each of us could bring into realization if we but gathered all of our energy and boldly marched into our future!