This week I spoke with someone who has lived with an intense spiritual focus for many, many years and now, late in life, a new struggle has arrived in understanding and following God's Will.
Our conversation has me reflecting on our human ideas that surround the word 'will' and in particular willfulness vs. willingness. In English, the word 'will' has several different meanings, but here I am looking at willfulness as a human state of determination and intention; we choose by an act of the mind or consciousness, to accomplish or experience something. That accomplishment of course may include disregarding or otherwise wrangling with the intention of others--both friends and foes, as well as natural forces, and even God. Our capacity for the conscious use of individual will, our intentionality, is one of the things that allows us to plan for the future and distinguishes us from the rest of the animal world (although, debatably, other animals have varying degrees of choice).
On the other hand, willingness implies cooperation and consent. We say, "yes', ideally with enthusiasm or at least, without resentment. Spiritually, the idea of willingness is an aspect of surrender. One of the sources of confusion with following God's Will or a spiritual directive is that our intention to live life as a spiritual process often requires saying "no" to aspects of the culture we live in, and to the behavior or ideas of others, in order to have the space to discern what is the best course in any given situation, or even in the routine and order of our daily life. Here willfulness--a clear determination and focus on our values, spiritual practice and intention-- can keep us on course. The inner life deepens and a new clarity dawns. Yet, as that happens we begin to realize that the spiritual life includes the Wholeness of life. That Wholeness is everyone and all aspects of yourself! Disregard of others in this Wholeness, disregard of your own inner or outer being, begins to undermine willingness, including spiritual willingness on a very subtle level. In fact, the deeper you go, the more subtle the thread of God's Will becomes. Until something cracks open to the vibrancy of All. (Susan Nettleton).
...And whether a man dispassionately
Sees to the core of life
Or passionately
Sees the surface,
The core and the surface
Are essentially the same,
Words making them seem different
Only to express appearance.
If name be needed, wonder names them both:
From wonder into wonder
Existence opens.
(The Way of Life, Lao Tzu--tr. Witter Bynner)
for more inspiration, follow the links
https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../Nowuntilthe/index.html
https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../YouWentAwayb/index.html
https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../BelovedComes/index.html