U.G. Krishnamurti once told me, "Other people really aren't responsible for our problems—we really can't blame them." Perhaps maturity comes to us when we actually quit blaming others for our problems. It's so easy to blame the people in our lives for the situations in which we find ourselves. And we can always find support for our feelings of outrage or indignation. "Of course you've been mistreated and that no good so-and-so is to blame," some well-meaning friend will tell us. But commiseration does not heal. And holding on to a grudge beyond its time only makes us feel worse. We finally reach a point where we realize that other people are what they are— we can't hold them responsible for not being the way we want them to be. If our feelings get hurt, it's because of our expectations about others. We can release others from our need for them to make everything all right for us. And when we do so, we find that we really are all right— we can enjoy and appreciate the people in our life by letting them be who they are.