oday, I turn our attention to the human quality of patience. Patience is one of the concepts that we humans have developed as a way to counter the frustration we feel when we fail to to conquer or mold the tendencies of things, people, and circumstances. We also frustrate ourselves with out own behavior, and depending on the culture, we are told that sometimes, we need to be more patient with ourselves, although cultural expectations can also demand perfectionism and painfully shun failure. Our focus today is to consider patience from a spiritual perspective that really is a form of surrender to a larger spiritual reality. In all major religions, scriptures and teaching stories address patience and usually with some sense of balance between human striving for spiritual connection, and living in the world of human relationships. Wikipedia gives a straightforward definition of the word: "Patience is the ability to endure difficult circumstances." How we experience the parameters of "difficult" varies with our stories, our current mood and expectations, and even physical factors (like physical pain or other limitations of the body and our neurological processes). And really patience includes expectation; without an expectation of good, of resolution, of fulfillment, there is no frustration.
This morning, I caught myself in a wave of frustration. Frustration is the feeling we have when something or someone prevents us from fulfilling our goal or felt need. It was a morning of miss-steps, text interruptions, and unexpected chores slowing me down--I wanted my coffee and I wanted it in my prized Santa Fe coffee mug that was lounging in the sink with a few unwashed jars headed to recycling. I don't know why I pictured that mug; I suspect it seemed to be a self-soothing image meant to finally launch me into the day's work. As I rinsed out the cup, I knocked it against one of the plastic jar lids and the lid rolled over, snuggled into the drain circle, blocking the drain. This sink tends to attract circular objects. I pried it up with a fork and it flew up and landed in the mug--completely sealing the cup this time. I tried to pry it out, but it sunk deeper in to the mug, its hard yellow plastic firmly wedged in the bottom. With growing irritation, I used every trick I knew to uproot it. Impossible! Years of meditation have brought me that dual quality of mind that both acts and watches the process; watches the frustration, watches the over-reaction, says to let it go, but at the same time another aspect of thought, refuses to let it go. It is the will that rises to conquer the material world--this time, with a justifying thought of the evils of plastic--even though the jar lid was headed for recycling. I reminded myself that there were other mugs, right there in front of me. But the incredible frustration that the lid simply would not bow/bend to my hand blinded me; I couldn't make that shift to letting my failed will, simply dissolve. Until, I just sat down and meditated.
After meditation, I had my morning coffee in a lovely mug someone had recently sent me. It was indeed comforting. Spiritual patience is about surrendering our narrow frameworks when they are not working. It is a turning to the larger dynamic of life and having the patience to let that unfold and reveal itself. Sometimes the process reveals itself as frustration v.s. patience in things that seem so minor. They hardly justify a fierce battle to liberate something like a cup, when the larger world is struggling with seismatical issues. Yet, the mind has it's way of reaching for small control as we give way to the larger Life. The ancient aphorism, "As above, so below", teaches us that our spiritual life is not just about astounding spiritual experiences of the grandeur, the immensity, of the cosmos, but the unfolding day, learning to move with the movement of the day, patient with ourselves, as well as others and the material world. Surrender. This week consider the quality of patience. In what way are your small battles with the Way things are, actually bringing you new insight into our changing world. (Susan Nettleton)
For poetry: https://zenmoments.org/have-patience-lao-tzu/