Today's post is a excerpt from this morning's Sunday Zoom Talk. (If you would like to be on the email list for future Zoom talks with Susan Nettleton, please email us through the contact page for hillsidesource. com or at hillsideew@aol.com.
I'm throwing out a challenge for the year: Actually BE in 2023. Whatever goals and direction you maybe sorting through now that January opens to February, hold them up against the challenge to Be in 2023. This year of 2023 is only partially defined and will not be completely defined until the year is over and beyond, as part of 1 year in 100 years of the 21st century. You may cleverly point out that this is just a way of saying be here now, be in the present, and that is true, but I am not talking about the moment to moment present, but rather a present that is in the context or frame that includes a past and a future.
We have mindsets, rehearsed over years, that keep us from being in 2023. One of the primary ones is the idea that "the best time of my life has come and gone". Has it? Nostalgia, or as my teacher U.G. used to say, "Nostalgia for the bad". The tendency of the human brain is to diminish unpleasant experiences over time and promote positive ones. That is healing. While continual dwelling on the painful events of the past is not useful, our brains' tendency to actually revise memories can have us remember events inaccurately, feeding the idea that life was better than it actually was. The problem occurs when we measure the time we're in now through this lens of how good things were. We all reminisce--it's human nature, it helps put life in some context of our story and shared stories, but sometimes we create a frozen mindset "that was the best time", and everything else from there is downhill. How can we possibly bear to be present now, when it will never be good enough?
Reflect on whether your dwelling on the past robs you of enjoyment or meaning now. If you are dissatisfied with being in 2023, time set yourself free. Life is different; you, people around you, your sense of place, all have changed. Life has become more complex--there are more people, more things and at least in many areas of life, more choices, although those who look back to simpler times might want to take away choices, not realizing the actual solution may lay in making peace with complexity. Greater changes likely lay ahead. Our years of Pandemic brought a collective awareness of global vulnerabilities, fragile populations and governments, along with the power of technology and the future wonders and dilemmas tech will continue to bring. If you assess life only through the news and social media, it easy to slide into despair and long for the past.
If your mind is made up, firm in the idea that your best years are behind you, and even the world's best years are past, you are in trouble; we are in trouble. Where is the incentive for positive participation and creativity? That hopeless rejection of 2023, will be mirrored back to you, before you even try. So I don't mean we can't indulge in a moment of nostalgia, or miss someone or something, but an embedded belief that everything is downhill--you, relationships, society, the beauty and wonder of life--cuts you off from truly living.. Being in 2023 requires courage and clarity. The negative mindset is the obstacle. You don't know what the future holds, why assume the worst? Life remains amazing. (Susan Nettleton)
follow the link for today's poem: https://poets.org/poem/house-called-tomorrow