In early April, I remembered my not-quite-4 year-old grandson's mini-cruiser stroller, parked somewhere outside. It was a toddler sized red convertible, with a workable steering wheel, a horn, and engine sounds. I had given it to him for his 1st birthday and he had loved it dearly, proudly"cruising" through the neighborhood. But after a move and the ensuing changes of twin baby sisters and new birthday toys, it was inconspicuously weathering out in the yard. My thought was that the sisters were ready to take a spin and it would be fun for him to rediscover the car too, while dealing with all the disappointments of the quarantine--no school fun, no play with friends, no parks or restaurants or visitors. So together we ventured out and began to clean it up. He was very excited to see it sparkle again and happily headed down the driveway, steering with me pushing the handle. But when he pushed the horn and engine buttons, nothing happened.
He was distraught. For him, if the sounds weren't working, the whole thing was ruined. There was a brief time of hope while his dad put in new batteries, but that collapsed when the buttons failed to respond. He was despondent. I tried to explain that we had left in uncovered outside and in all the rain we had been having, the wires and battery connections must have gotten wet and just didn't work. But the car could still be fun. He thought about this and then with a wounded spirit looked up and said woefully, "The rain did it on purpose."
I had to digest that for a minute. It was so innocent (and classic "ideas of reference" which is a stage of childhood cognitive development). I offered him the adult reality that, "the rain doesn't care about your car one way or another, the rain's job is to make water for the trees and plants, and for animals and people to drink. But water and batteries just don't mix well."
It struck me though, that in the extreme stress of the pandemic and the "novel Covid 19 virus" how people can easily regress to ideas of reference, over-personalizing events and interpreting them through the lens of "this is happening because of me and my life", or "this is directed at me personally", whether it is your job, or finances, or living situation, or social distancing, or the reaction of friends and family as they too struggle to adapt--the sense that all the changes your are asked to weather are a personal imposition on you. Or it can appear as feeling abandoned by God, or a spiritual test directed personally to you.
Our distorted beliefs on many levels are blocks to meditation and peace. Throughout the centuries, humans have found meaning in painful and overwhelming situations, but to discern life-enhancing meaning and inner direction, we need an open heart and an open mind. (By the way, another week passed and the wires actually dried; the sounds have returned along with the joy. Susan Nettleton)