Little Shack Stops Having the Last Word

'The last word' is the most dangerous of infernal machines, and husband and wife should no more fight to get it than they would struggle for the possession of a lighted bomb-shell.

-Douglas Jerrold

Several weeks ago, I had a group of people over, and I noticed how everyone kept interrupting each other's conversation, including yours truly! We all want to tell our story, nothing wrong with that, but I was observing and asking myself: Am I listening to each person's narrative? Am I genuinely interested in what they are saying? Why do I have to have the last word?

I began a new spiritual practice of being aware of how I end a conversation. Not having the last word is a practice of humility. It can be a surrender of the unconscious reactionary self's demand to be dominant. During an argument, having the last word can be an endless loop with the other."

Silence is true wisdom's best reply.


I have heard from a mother that had this problem with her children. Her ingenious solution uses the phrase, "I've spoken. Would you like to have the last word?" She explains, "This shifts the power. Instead of them taking control, you have decided to give it to them!" Of course, at times, it is essential to be firm, for example with a teaching or disciplinary situation. The exercise of sacrificing the last word may open a spiritual gate for a higher octave of connection to the other. A transformation can occur that creates freedom and spiritual flow through this gate by moving pass the narrow framework of our separative personal self.

Successfully practicing Not Having To Have The Last Word, we become more substantial, not diminished, and still can tell our own story.

Silence is a source of great strength.

-Lao Tzu