In Zen they say, "When the cart won't move, who do we whip, the cart or the horse?" Logically we would say, "It's the horse that is to blame." But perhaps there's another way of seeing this. Yogi Berra used to say, "When I'm not hitting, I blame the bat, not myself. How can I be at fault for not hitting? So I get another bat, and then I start hitting again." When things aren't going well for us, we tend to blame ourselves or those closest to us. But how can it really be our fault or their fault? Maybe we need to just see it from a different angle. If we have to assign fault, maybe we can blame some external force (the bat or the cart) just to relieve the pressure. As Bob Dylan once said of the 80's, "It just wasn't my decade." It's surprising how much order and harmony flows into our lives as we release the need to blame.