June 2, 2024

Last week, already on overload with work and family commitments, I was up early to face my "to do" list. As I headed to pull together breakfast, I was suddenly struck how much clutter had accumulated, during the last very busy 3 months. Too much stuff. Spring was passing into summer--whatever happened to the idea of spring cleaning? Caught between the inner pressure to tackle disorder and the need to get to my computer tasks, I suspected I was in avoidance mode. The solution, I told myself, was the 5 item rule--my default cleaning mode. I put away 5 items from the dish drainer, quickly washed the 5 items in my sink, and randomly sorted one bookshelf that was overloaded, tossing 5 unnecessary accumulations. Next my eye caught the build-up on the dresser. Part of me thought "get to the computer, Susan", and another part was drawn to the dresser corner. I succumbed to what felt like further procrastination. Under a pile of notes that I quickly tossed in the trash, I found what my unconscious had been seeking: my buffalo necklace.

The buffalo necklace is a beautiful bronze cast, flat on the back, contoured on the front, with both a pin and a small chain hook, so that it can be worn as either way. It was made by a Winnebago Tribe artist and I found it at an Native American art fair many years ago in the red rocks outside Jemez. I didn't know I was searching for it the day as I wandered through the artists' displays, wanting to buy something, but not sure what. When I saw it on a table of jewelry--mostly turquoise and silver--I was awed by it's detail, and touched it momentarily. Something inside me shook. I walked away, but was hit with waves of tremors--what in yoga is called kriyas, involuntary waves of spiritual energy, a release of kundalini energy. I wandered through the fair until the shaking stopped and I had seen enough. I wanted the buffalo. For me it was a reminder of why I had left Houston when I completed medical school and why I had moved to Albuquerque and a four year psychiatry residency at the University of New Mexico. That decision came in a deep meditation experience along with a vibrant image of buffalo in a fenced field. The next day, the mail brought the UNM residency program booklet, with my buffalo vision on the cover.

When I found my necklace again, buried under the stack of "stuff", I put it on. I meditated and sat down to work with the quiet reminder of my calling and the spiritual ground of being. My point here for your consideration this Sunday, is not just that there's still time for some spring cleaning. Beyond that, I want to remind you that seemingly routine chores of life are not separate from your worldly goals, nor your spiritual path. In the pull to procrastinate, generated by a nagging need to re-establish order, I was led back to the foundation of my life and work. Guidance is everywhere. Even in our resistance. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://literaturevaults.com/spring-cleaning/ https://www.poetryfoundation.org/.../its-hard-to-keep-a... And from Larry Morris: "June is the Joy of God"

God's love is the warmth-shedding June don't think, smell the lilacs don't fret, let the crickets fill your ears with love songs from God

May 30, 2024

Announcement to all!

Hillside will hold a Zoom Service, Sunday, June 9, 2024 with Dr. Susan Nettleton

Topic: Summer Surrender

Date: June 9, 2024

Time: 11:00 AM Mountain Time, 10:00 AM Pacific Time

If you are not on our email list for Zoom service and would like to attend, please email us at hillsideew@aol.com or through the contact page on our website: hillsidesource.com or message us on Facebook with your email address.

May 26, 2024

Recently my neighbor added a new beauty to his garden that has haunted me this week---a large hybrid rose bush, a tricolored wonder of purplish red roses, creamy petals with barely visible pink streaks roses, and sunshine yellow roses, all springing from the same "trunk". It is an amazing vision of human-designed grafting and nature's possibilities, a fitting tribute to America's Memorial Day Weekend. Monday, of course is the official holiday of Memorial Day, honoring U.S. personnel, who have died in service in to the country and is particularly focused on those who died in war. Yet strangely, perhaps because the 3 day weekend that was created by this federal holiday on the last Monday in May, it has marked the "unofficial" beginning of summer (although solstice summer begins June 20). So this last weekend in May is an American human hybrid creation. Of note, Memorial Weekend brings heavy travel as well as the pull of nature in outdoor celebrations. This year I have to note, the weekend is also bringing warnings of severe weather and intense heat, across the country. The rose bush here though is thriving in cool temperatures and May Gray.

Spiritually, I perceive these holiday celebrations unite in one principle: they are branches of the potential and quest for healing. Honoring those who sacrificed their lives in duty to their country--all individuals, each with their own story--is a collective movement of healing. Yes, it is about recognition and honor, but behind that is also Life's movement of healing from loss, trauma, tragedy, and the human uncertainty of it all. Time heals, recognition heals, honoring the gift heals. To me, it's not difficult to see that movement of healing extending to those who made the sacrifice, beyond the healing of our personal grief.

The counter emotions of summer celebrations are also healing. Why not celebrate life in an age-old appreciation of community, of the light and lightness of summer, of time away from work and routine, all of which can bring healing? Holidays give us the space to heal and repair. The added frightening weather warnings--storms or extreme heat--are nature's wake-up calls. Beyond our personal lives: physical, emotional, mental well-being, we are now marked with the task of coming into another kind of relationship with the natural world, and to do that includes coming into a cooperative spirit with other nations, other cultures, a larger world of possibility and healing.

Today, tomorrow, as your weekend unfolds, consider this a time of healing for you personally. As always, we begin with ourselves, the unique being that we are. Even if you feel whatever needs healing in you and your life is far from war and the history of sacrifice, and far from the revelry of summer and travelers, and you can't bear to deal with severe weather warnings or think about climate change, trust that whatever healing you need, is already active. Your healing matters. You are never left out. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/guest-house/

https://allpoetry.com/.../14326534-When-Great-Trees-Fall...

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../HolySpiritof/index.html

https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../DeSpirituSan/index.html

May 19, 2024

"The sun goes out whenever the cloud of not-praising comes near." Rumi

In L.A. County, this month is known as "May Gray" and following that, "June Gloom" arrives. The seasonal, almost daily gray, gloomy cloud cover is the result of a complex weather system. Cooler air over the ocean condenses when it meets the warm air masses of California desert lands. The meeting brings low humid clouds that move inland, keeping the air cool and the sky...a muggy gray. I am a sunshine person, so to maintain a sunny outlook, I turn our attention back to the beauty of spring. Even with the grim news of the latest storms hitting Houston and the southeast, and another round of threatening weather across the mid-west, beauty brings a reassuring balance to life. As William Carlos William described in his poem, "The Locust Tree in Flower"--"Among of green stiff, old bright broken branch come white sweet May again." This is a reminder that nature repairs and shelters, even as it uproots and destroys. Our task in the 21st century is to further uncover the mystery of that natural process, finding new ways of being cared for, and taking care of, Nature. Appreciation of May's beauty is one step in that caring.

Of course, beauty is relative to the beholder. Multiple research studies over the last decade have deepened our discovery of the physical and psychological health benefits of time spent in Nature, or even just viewing pictures of Nature outside the field of known exercise benefits. You don't have to be "exercising" to be lifted by a natural environment to have positive health effects (like lower blood pressure). More recent studies zero in on an underlying sense of connectedness to Nature, beyond spending time in natural environments. Perhaps, that consciousness of connectedness holds a key to managing climate change--speculation on my part--but it seems to me worth reflecting on your personal sense of connection with Nature. I myself find such connection in neighborhood walks with ample towering trees and lush gardens along sidewalks. Venturing deeper into wilderness or the ocean beyond a beach (Nature includes both the green and the blue spaces), I find I am more of an observer than immersed in connection. The pull to praise the beauty of it all, lifts and dispels the gray.

Praise is the second theme for this Sunday. The opening Rumi quote above is from his poem "Praising Manners" (link below). It is a reminder of our need to acknowledge the good as Good, especially when life becomes turbulent. Praise, to be genuine, first requires recognition. When we are in relationship, praise includes an acknowledgment of the person, their being-ness. When we are praising Life and God, there is a recognition of Presence. An aspect of praising the Natural world is the recognition of beauty, the impact of beauty on our senses, moods, thoughts. Attending to any of of these levels can open doorways within us. This week, find some time for the beautiful. Let it light your way and lighten your load. Offer your praise. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://wordsfortheyear.com/.../praising-manners-by.../

https://hillsidesource.com/openness-poem

https://onbeing.org/poetry/the-peace-of-wild-things/

https://poets.org/poem/pied-beauty

May 12, 2024

May is graduation season for schools and colleges across the U.S.A. This weekend is a favored date for universities and colleges in California, while most grade K-12 continue until the end of the month. Today is also Mother's Day. It's easy to link these two events since mothers and school support are eternally intertwined. (Mothers, in and of themselves, are usually our earliest teachers.) This year, many proud moms, receiving their degrees or proudly celebrating the graduation of children, face the tensions of political protests disrupting campuses ceremonies. Regardless, graduates on all levels will be launched into the next phase of life, contending with and finding their way through our changing times. I am emphasizing the challenges of change as a realistic aspect of Mental Health Awareness month for all of us, including mothers, new graduates, and young children just beginning their path of discovery. In particular, I am advocating for mental health days.

Since the Pandemic, there has been a great deal of public and professional concern on the psychological well-being of children and teens in America. This initiated public and school related programs promoting mental health education and awareness, including the idea of mental health absentee days. In 2022, 12 states formally adopted Mental Health Day school absences, similar to traditional sick days, but not about physical illnesses or injury. (Washington, California, Illinois, Maine, Virginia, Colorado, Oregon, Connecticut, Arizona, Nevada, Utah and Kentucky. Note: Some independent school districts allow mental health days, and some states still debate or simply don't consider it.) Recently, in a strange reversal, some medical and other opinion articles have argued that the educational focus on mental health concern creates the problem. Having read many articles over the past few years on public mental health, spotlighting the role of social media, gaming, inequity, drug use and gun violence, it is troubling to read a trend dismissing significant factors in mental health education. Rather, what is missing in mental health education is insight in the impact of a rapidly changing climate and environment on our collective mental health, including the children that it will impact the most.

Yesterday was the first email reference I have received on this crucial topic. It came as an AMA continuing education offer, announcing: "The year 2023 was the hottest ever recorded and included an unusually high number of extreme weather events, which are signs of a changing climate. This article describes how climate change can adversely affect mental health and suggests ways to mitigate these unfavorable effects... Clinicians should be aware of how climate change may affect mental health to prepare for patients’ evolving needs." Here in California, schools actively participate in environmental awareness, as do other--but certainly not all--school programs across America. That awareness comes with the understanding of responsibility to: "Reduce, Re-use, Recycle". This popular teaching jingle reflects a phenomenal shift in American consumerism. Yet, we are still a culture of cross-currents that include denial and subterfuge, along with our inventiveness, and commitment to recycle, research and adapt. Climate change is a significant unspoken, collective, cultural undercurrent in graduation 2024.

A "mental health day" is defined as taking a day off of work or school to allow for emotional well-being--a break from the pressure of responsibility to spend time in a relaxed, enjoyable, renewing environment that brings well-being and reassurance. It's another way of letting go to the wonder of life, without the burden. We let go, trusting enough to enjoy life around us, without pressure or worry of tomorrow's responsibility. This is the way of resiliency. Ease actually does nurture and strengthen resiliency. Doesn't that sound like spiritual surrender? When the load is too heavy, take that mental health day. (Susan Nettleton)

For recycling song: https://www.fultonschools.org/.../PreK%20Tuesday%20-%20PA...

For graduation: https://poets.org/.../graduation-bolinas-school-june-11-1971 https://poets.org/poem/graduation-bolinas-1973 https://poets.org/poem/graduation-bolinas-1972 http://www.wordslikethis.com.au/today/

May 5, 2024

Today, I am inviting you to "pause", spiritually throughout the day. You might begin right now, with a releasing exhale (of any measure), then a slow, quite inhale. Pause, and a slow release. It seems to me that May, 2024 is off to a rather jarring start. This weekend brings catastrophic flooding to the Houston area, and continued flood watch and warnings across Texas and Oklahoma. Growing up in Houston, I learned to live with water, floods, hurricanes, thunder and lightening and tornado warnings. Family and friends are still there, so I check in as I can. I note severe flood warnings in Brazil and Kenya while I follow Houston's. In an odd mix, today is also Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican-American holiday that arose from Mexico's victory over the French during the Franco-Mexican War in 1892. Despite the ominous weather warnings, the parades, dances and parties continue in Houston and across the Southwest. Additionally, this has been an intense week in the academic world as University student protests on the Israeli/Gaza war have escalated across the country with encampments, threats and counter threats, vandalism and arrests, provoking further division and conflict. And also notable, May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

While considering today's post, I came across a note, in my own handwriting, used as a quick bookmark, that advised: "Rid yourself of dependency in cultural/social/material structure." I don't know when I wrote it, but it referred to a paragraph by Emmet Fox, summed up by a quote of Jesus, Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God." If I changed the word "dependency" to "attachment", it would be a Buddhist teaching. Yet now, my sense of spirituality leads me to see the world and it's processes, it's complexity and "cultural/social/material structures" are all expressions of God. In truth, we do depend on one another, as persons and as a collective social order. This is the kingdom. This is the "garden". We are the current expressions of the transcendent, living our part, our contribution to the whole. We consciously know only a fragment of that whole. Whether we focus on the things, people, places, events of the world, or whether we withdraw to "seek God", we never leave the spiritual field. Despite the world's turmoil and seeming tragedy, we all live, move, and have our being it that which we name God. As we trust that more, "jarring" events are more manageable. The next step and the next become clearer.

Today, find those pauses that remind you: you have never left the spiritual ground of being. Pause for peace, for silence, for direction, for rest, for strength. Pause to remember. Have a day of Peace. (Susan Nettleton)

for poetry: https://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/.../SecondPoemth/index.html

https://allpoetry.com/As-Once-the-Winged-Energy-of-Delight

https://www.pauljhowell.com/.../student-do-the-simple...

April 28, 2024

This past week, I was tasked with gathering some school project supplies for my grandson. It was a creative math project on geometric forms, involving picture-taking, glue, poster-board and a brief essay. There was an element of adventure in the mission to search the neighborhood and document geometry! What struck me most though about this assignment was the underlying theme of discovery. Discovery is an essential part of learning. In this case, the point was to discover that geometry is not just an abstract concept for math tests; it is intertwined with functionality and human creativity. This week, I have been reflecting on our human capacity to find what has not been known before--which is the definition of discovery. Today, I am encouraging you to open to delightful discovery.

Not all discovery of course is delightful. Finding the hurtful, frightening, or disappointing person, place or thing--the mistake, trespass, lie, threat, the complicated messes in our lives--is painful, although often, in the long run, worth knowing. This Sunday though, consider the delightful unexpected discovery.

In our attempts to live spiritually, especially in these times of divisiveness and upheaval, we can all too easily slip into a kind of rigid expectation of our path, our practice, as shields. Our spiritual minds are made up; our beliefs are sealed in defense and self-protection. Yet, while life often requires steadfastness, it also requires our capacity to adapt to changing situations. If we allow our beliefs, minds, and hearts to concretize as they were 10 years (or more ago), or even as they were in 2020-2022 (the throes of the pandemic), we are not really living. Delightful discoveries are road signs for us; they inform us that we are still open. The soil of our souls is fertile, life is still nurturing us beyond our repetitious affirmations and detailed prayers. When we are willing to be surprised, something wonderfully new can slip in.

When was your last delightful discovery? A few weeks ago, I was at the local market grabbing a handful of grocery items, including a marked-down head of radicchio. In the checkout, the young cashier asked me how I prepared my radicchio. I'm not much of a cook, so I said to her, "I just throw it my salads". She told me she grilled it and ate it like a "warm salad" and encouraged me to look it up online. Warm salad has never appealed to me, but in deference to her youthful enthusiasm for cooking, and her friendliness in sharing, I did look it up when I got home. Then I chopped it and threw it in the skillet, with a little seasoning and oil--surprisingly wonderful!

The point here is these discoveries are a given aspect of life, sometimes leading your way in quiet steps, sometimes nourishing you, sometimes healing, and sometimes lifting "the veil" to reveal the joy. Don't dismiss the small wonders while longing for a great cosmic unveiling. Whitman's description describes it best: "I find letters from God, dropped in the streets and every one is signed by God’s name, And I leave them where they are, for I know that wheresoever I go, Others will punctually come for ever and ever." Look again for yours. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry: https://poetrysociety.org/poetry-in-motion/happiness https://poets.org/poem/blessing https://hillsidesource.com/unexpected-income-larry-poem

April 21, 2024

Tomorrow is Earth Day 2024. It will be the 54th Earth Day, now celebrated globally. I have been mulling over my thoughts for this post during the past week, especially ways to pull us all outside into the fullness of Earth as nature, as the "natural". However, Friday night I remembered each Earth Day has a specific highlighted theme that serves as a focus for locally based events around the world. In all the political messaging and news of the current wars, I had not yet run across Earth Day news. So I looked it up. With a deep sign, I now must turn our attention to the 2024 theme: Planet versus Plastic. Here is the irony: The brilliance of human creativity and discovery that brought forth plastic (1907), a material that served our needs and shaped amazing productivity and conveniences, has evolved into a pollution nightmare. This is highlighted with an increasing awareness of microplastics (named in 2004) threatening Earth's oceans, marine and wildlife, and it's uncertain impact on human health. The problem is compounded by lab created, harmful PFAS--used in manufacturing and various consumer products--known as "forever chemicals" that stick to microplastics and are carried wherever microplastics land. So there are layers to the problem of "Plastic" that settles and migrates throughout the planet and its life forms. Note that the dates here move us from an early 20th century discovery to our 21st century consequences. Where do we go from here?

We leap to a global solution. The day after tomorrow's Earth Day, April 23-29, negotiators from 175 countries are gathering to draft a global, legally binding, Global Plastics Treaty. This is the fourth round of the United Nations Plastics Treaty negotiations. The goal is to cut plastic production and end single-use plastic across the globe by the end of this year. This treaty is at the core of Earth Day 2024's theme. Environmental cleanup and climate change is multifaceted. It is the way of humanity to break the complex into understandable and manageable pieces; even though that way often leads to divisive polarization, in other ways, it is our strength. Of course there will be argument and maneuvering. Yet to meet to build such a treaty, with this vast array of countries, climates, and cultures... and agendas, in a time of warring peoples and nations, is simply miraculous. You and I won't be attending in person, but we can participate. We can offer our positive expectations, our prayers, our forgiveness, our blessings, and our gratitude for those who work for the health of our planet.

Then consider the other positive progress we collectively are making. (Here is one website's offering https://www.bobvila.com/articles/earth-day-good-news/) And do take the time to nurture yourself in nature's spring renewal. Renewal is a key word for inner reflection and one that nature offers outside your door. Your home is not just your residence. Every park, every tree, every river, mountain, desert, expanse of sky is your home when your home is Earth. Time to go outside. (Susan Nettleton).

For poetry:

https://poets.org/anthology/poems-light

https://ohioenergy.org/.../Earthrise-Poem-by-Amanda...

https://www.saltproject.org/.../earth-day-poem-what-does...

April 14, 2024

Today we are more or less 3 weeks into spring and with the added boost of day light savings time, evenings are noticeably brighter. We have had the excitement of the solar eclipse, as well as a burst of frightening storms. As I write, I continue to check online news of attacks and retaliation between Iran and Israel. Yet, even with this background of escalation in world tensions, election politics, and the underlying pressure of a changing planet, spring returns with light and beauty. Consider that this may be a good week to lighten your load, a time to try a lighter touch with any and all that you strive for, and especially with your spiritual practice.

A few days ago a friend of mine, who is struggling with a grueling work overload, sent me a meme: "Today I'm giving it my some!" It took me a few beats to process; it sounded strange...my some? some what? And then it hit me, the play of words on the too familiar success advice, "give it your ALL." Work culture often prescribes--even demands--this as the ultimate formula for a happy, successful, and prosperous life. This push to "give all", all your effort, focus, time, energy, talent, relatedness, all your physical, emotional and mental strength to whatever the goal or challenge at hand, has spilled into a formula for the spiritual life as well. But is this realistic or even healthy? In the world of work, the research is clear--regular breaks improve efficiency. How do you define, "a break"? It's not about just standing up or sitting or taking a short walk. With any of these, you can easily take your "workload" along with you. That is not a break. The key is in a lighter load. You break free of the burden. You don't carry it in your body. You don't carry emotionally; you don't carry it around in your thoughts. When it is time to focus on task, you pick it up again. The load has lightened.

This is true of our spiritual work as well. If we are giving it our "all", "all" the time, (or imagining that we are), where is the space for something greater to enter in? Giving our all can actually become a way of feeding ego identity, re-enforcing a sense of our own importance in living from a spiritual level. Emmett Fox spoke to this issue in his essay, "Mental Drudgery Is Not Prayer", pointing out that "praying long and hard" leaves us tired and discouraged. This is true for both traditional petitionary (asking God) prayer and affirmative prayer (the use of affirmation), because underneath we are forcing an answer, realization, or healing as a subtle act of will. Rather, cultivating a quiet faith in our immersion in a larger field that is a Loving, Compassionate Goodness, an Intelligence beyond human capacity, and yet, simultaneously intimately connected to each of us as a unique expression, lightens the load. As a zen saying expresses it: when you have one eye on the goal, you have only one eye left to receive the gift. But isn't it all a gift? As your load lightens, the world's shadow lifts in measure. (Susan Nettleton)

For poetry and more: https://wordsfortheyear.com/.../its-dark-because-you-are.../ https://www.jendireiter.com/.../stephen-philbrick-dont.../ https://www.holidayatthesea.com/.../lightening-the-load... https://hillsidesource.com/daily-thoughts/2018/3/28/just-take-it-easy?rq=the%20light%20touch

March 31, 2024

Today is Easter Sunday, one of the holiest days in Christianity. It celebrates the Sacrifice, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, who died while being crucified, and yet, as earlier prophets and scriptures foretold, appeared alive again to his disciples, before ascending to Heaven with the promise of return, leaving the Holy Sprit to comfort them and provide spiritual guidance. Through this sacrifice, there is the promise of eternal life for those who believe in it and accept it. Within my very condensed version of the Easter Story, there are profound implications for world history and the world's future, world religions, and humanity, as well as of course, much controversy and conflict.

My focus today though is on the core of Jesus' teachings-- often lost in the attempt to update the story, rearrange, and reinterpret it, to fit 21st century culture. Yet to me, the essential message of Jesus remains love and forgiveness. Love and forgiveness are not particularly popular practices in 2024. For many, many years Hillside held a Good Friday Forgiveness service, in a guided meditation/forgiveness experience. Today I encourage you to set aside some time for an inner review of your life right now, finding the sore spots that are ready to be forgiven and finding the love that is there beyond your wounds, frustration and anger. If not today, sometime soon.

Forgiveness gets easier with practice. Forgiving quickly prevents the slow boil that hardens our hearts, and layers our psyche in a way that makes us ready to take offense at fresh failures and trespasses of others. Anger breeds anger; disappointment and frustration produce more of the same. Realistically as human beings, we go through resentment, hurt feelings, embarrassment, and feelings of insult. But we are also quite capable of forgiveness that clears our minds and heart. A forgiveness meditation now and then is like deep cleaning, rather than a quick dusting of prayer. We need both. Even in the agony of the crucifixion, Jesus spoke the Word of Forgiveness: "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."' Easter provides a door to forgiveness, which is renewal; we rediscover our capacity to love and to accept that we are loved. See where it leads you, this Spring of 2024. (Susan Nettleton)

Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

For Poetry: https://hrs.osu.edu/.../spiritual.../poems/gethsemane.pdf...

https://keningzhu.com/maybe-by-mary-oliver

https://hillsidesource.com/forgivenessinnew https://hillsidesource.com/seeking-forgiveness...