“Both/And Thinking”

by Dr. Larry Morris

Two old friends met after a long separation. One friend asked the other, "Did you ever marry that woman you were going with, or are you still doing your on cooking, cleaning and ironing?” His friend answered, “Yes.” Sometimes in our life, we get locked into either/or thinking when the answer to our situation may be both/and. We may be limiting our possibilities by being too one-sided, narrow or rigid in our thinking. We’ve all, at times, felt hemmed in by thinking that the only choice we have is between two equally unacceptable alternatives. We've all thought or felt, If don't so something, things will stay the same which is intolerable; but if I act, the change will be so drastic, that it is too scary to contemplate. When we think that we are limited to one choice, either this or that, we need to open our mind to the possibilities of both/and in our situation.